Fear: Does Writing Scare Me?

Fear, that coward; that bully who frightens his victim into resignation.
Defeat this oppressor with action, simple as it may be, for it is in the stagnation that he performs best.

I haven’t sat down to write like I used to. This presents a considerable problem (not to the outside world necessarily) but to my own psyche that thrives on the outpouring of my soul onto paper.

There are a slew of reasons why: excuses, some of the legitimate, some of them not so much. Time being one of these justifications: who has the time? There just isn’t enough time. Maybe tomorrow, next week, when things slow down, someday…

It becomes scary when “too much” time has gone by. All of a sudden, the blank page faces me and I find myself in the grungy hands of fear. I need to make a change.

In my spiritual quest as of late, I’ve been reflecting on time, specifically “time dysfunction” as Deepak Chopra describes it. I consider what is most important to me, in the now:

  • Spending meaningful moments with my family
  • Maintaining a healthy lifestyle
  • Writing

I ask: How can I arrange my now, my present life, to care for and nourish those things that are most important?

Faced fearI think of those things that I’m already doing, and I give myself a gold star before moving on. Then, I begin to-politely- ask fear to leave, as he is no longer welcome. My behaviors require constant reinforcement:
You’re doing great, Kirsten!
Keep up the good work!
This is for yourself, and you’ll be a better person for it. Promise. Swear. Girl Scout’s honor.

“When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.”  
Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

So I will not be, as Mr. Emerson says, a timid adventurer, and write I shall.
The time is now!

I am resolute; I will not fear.

Author

Sometimes living life at its maximum, sometimes barely eking by. Trying to get through parenting with a modicum of sanity intact.

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